This article was recently published on "The Less Travelled Path" and is republished with permission.
YESTERDAY, my father was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 cancer after 3 trips to the A&E, and one week's stay in hospital.Life has taken a drastic turn. This year, I became a father, I lost my wife’s father, and I am now on the verge of losing my father. Life can give and take away easily.
Both grandpas managed to see their first grandchild, but both do not get to hear their grandchild call them "grandpa".
I wish for more time for my father, to at least be discharged from hospital and spend his last days at home, which is the wish of many people in their last days. If possible, I wish for him to live for at least a few more months so he can hear his grandchild call him "grandpa". I do not think it is possible as he has been hallucinating these few days and this is a sign that the end is near.
It was so sudden, there was no symptoms. He had several checks prior to this and none showed signs of cancer. But it has been a long time coming as he has been a smoker and drinker. He is only 56, too young to go.
My dad was the sole breadwinner of the family. As the eldest son with two younger brothers, one in university and another just starting national service, I will have to bear the load now. My father does not have much savings and CPF, and all his medical treatments will be substantial.
Financially, it will be tough for me. However, I have great support from my wife, and I can focus more on my family for now. It will take a lot of planning and reduction in expenses. There are lots of questions and matters to deal with, and I hope I have the strength and wisdom to deal with them. I will have to.
I wish financial matters were the last thing on my mind but alas, my father has no savings, no insurance, no financial knowledge and planning.
I wish they had diagnosed his condition correctly during his first trip to A&E, and it would have been discovered weeks earlier but then sometimes life works in mysterious ways. I do not blame anyone and I thank everyone who has helped on my father's last journey.
My father’s parents are still around, and it will be a wrenching sight for them to bid farewell to him.
When you do not quit smoking, one day you will be forced by your situation to quit, and by then it is too late. Think of the many extra years that you could be spending with your grandchildren, perhaps that will give you the determination to quit the habit.
For all those who have lost their parents or who are on the verge of losing one, I stand with you.
I am trying to pick up the bits and pieces, and the emotional support from families and relatives has been overwhelming and I thank them again from the bottom of my heart.
Amidst all these there is a silver lining, and that is my baby daughter -- she keeps me going, for she is the sunshine of my life right now. She does not know it, but she has brought so much joy to everyone in these hard times.
After a long day in the hospital, she is the only one that can bring a smile to my face. We have brought our baby daughter to see my father in the hospital even if it is for a short while, and despite knowing that she faces risks.
Hopefully nothing will happen to her -- life can’t be that cruel.
I wish time can turn back to the moment when I became the child of my father, the very first moment he became a father so we can spend the next 28 years together again. I will start to cherish more the time I spend with my daughter, I know I will look back fondly at all these moments.
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